A mondegreen is a mishearing or misinterpretation of a phrase that is worth repeating. If you think the above comic isn’t funny, click the ‘back’ button on your browser now, for the Pledge will be ‘mondegreened.’ Maybe even two other songs well known for inspiring Ameristan patriogizm–turn back now if you are easily offended.
I pledge allegiance to the good side, about 99% of america and to the free public, no wicked plans, fun nation, universal, with medicare and no lies at all.
I pledge a grievance to the scam for untying the state of America, and to elite pundits, War-richistan, whore nation, inexcusable, with penalties and drug busts for all.
I pledge adherence to the plan of the new-knighted snakes of scamerica and to the McGov, inc, more wicked plans, with levity and ‘trust us’ for all.
I pledge resistance, ‘lectric gags! And to the delighted banks of Scamerica. and from the free public, lore which is banned, indefensible, with plutocracy and crushed lives for all.
I treasure intents to defrag ugly unified state of our media and EULA the public, for widget brands, play station, in the videos, which sift for the gun lust, feral.
I pledge discreet hints of the plan to you frightened jakes unaware of it and the oily peak of it, more wicked plans, radiation, invisible, conspiracy and just this for all.
The unselected, rejected, neglected, and disrespected, because you can do better:
I grudge elite gents with their plans, ugly new lie to state of americonned, of the new lie did traits of an erica, of the new lighted cakes of the few rights dead straight of a errorbar. for the too bright did bake in a merica ugly ghoul knight did gape at america of the two mighty fakes of scamerica for the few rights did break in america of the skewed blighted fates of a bear licker, of the benighted jakes of off key two lighted skates unaware of ya. off the too bright with snakes of the media. of the derided tastes of america of the unblighted traits of a miracle. of the two blighted fakes of aware ica a rare hiccup, a hairy cuss a buried cah a rare stickup a caroler a Kalidah a character of the few white bread jakes radiation invisible
I hedge a leet fence I pledge my wee tents i pledge my ‘leet mints i pleasure the gents to be dragged and tho we reek of it Unscrew the fee public and to the bit bucket and two or three dub steps bores snitch as planned wares glitch as planned for itch our hands or wishing glands for bitchin’ bands one station sensation conspiracy and jealous furball.
Even if you can’t do better, and just ‘steal’ it from here, you can honestly say you stole it from no6ody.
Other people’s Pledge mondegreens, credited where possible:
I pleasure legions, to the flag of the ninety stays of America And to the public, for riches dance, one asian, under cod, with liver tea and just this for all.
I pledge allegiance to Goldman Sachs, and to the conspiracy for which it stands, one racket under Paulson, Communist and indivisible, with eviction and poverty for all.
I pledge allegiance, to Queen Fragg,And her mighty state of hysteria. And to the reporters, with delicious hams, One nation, under bob, indefensible, With quibbling and lettuce for all.
I pledge a lesson to the frog of the United States of America, and to the wee puppet for witches hands. One Asian, in the vestibule, with little tea and just rice for all.
I pledge impertinence to the flagwaving of the unindicted co-conspirators of America and to the Republicans for which I can’t stand one abomination, underhanded fraud indefensible with liberty and justice forget it. Matt Groening
I plead alignment to the flakes of the untitled snakes of a merry cow. And to the Republicans for which they scam, one nacho, underpants, with licorice and jugs of wine for owls.” Matt Groening
I pledge a grievance to the flag and the divided states of america, and to the republicans, whom i can’t stand, one nation, under dog, indespicable, with liberty for just us, not all.
I pledge a legion to the frog of the delighted steaks of America, and to the public for Richard Stands, one naked individual, with liver tea and just kiss for all.
The original lyrics are no longer descriptive: My country ’tis of thee, Sweet land of liberty, Of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died! Land of the Pilgrim’s pride! From every mountain side, Let freedom ring! Mondegreen to the reds pew!
My country tortures me; sweet lies of tyranny, ugly thy sting. Land where my freedoms died; plans where the TV lied; force deadly oft applied; undeserving.
My eyes distinctly see secret theology; of 3 I sing. Land where my money dies; land of the pills and lies; for every one short supplies; stop listening.
Wiiidescreen in front of me; frontal lobotomy; slowly moving. Land where free thought has died; Land of the fat behind; to neverending stimuli; let’s eat some thing.
My conscience thinks I see sheer lack of dignity. Of pee I sing. Pee where the others died; pee on their punctured hides; film it for the folks state-side; weeniewagging.
the cutting room floor:
My country’s 5H175 on me; just wanted to be free; smoke me something. Land where I bought supplies, stand up for truth, not lies, for dignity not denied,
my country, tears for thee my gun says misery my country pissed on thee my bumpy front of me sweet lass of Mystery sweets laid in front of thee undies i fling undesiring get me more bling ugly icing all this guy thing not bothering measurably well supplied
The original (if outdated) lyrics: O beautiful, for spacious skies, For amber waves of grain, For purple mountain majesties Above the fruited plain! America! America! God shed his grace on thee And crown thy good with brotherhood From sea to shining sea!
O tv spew, your specious lies, you’re adding waves of pain; your pervert wartime fantasies; and drugs and schools insane! America i’m scared a ya, mob led, disgraced, nasty, endowed thy hoods with others’ goods from seizures over seas.
As you do spew rapacious lies of addled ways to gain your politician travesties all have the foolish brain! Oh where is a America not sedated mentally? Your ‘crowd thy hoods with shoddy goods’ whores weep and whine and wheeze.
O looted tool, poor class despised, your apps all save your name; your people, mental tragedies, corruptly fooled again! O media, deceiving ya, bad hagiographies they sound no good because they should fit to reality!
pits and beaches:
of stupid rules, for baseless lies o stoopid fool, for facist lies for faceless guys tasteless pies your awful ways remain aware is a america You shaped this place nasty got pled his case for free got radiated tea irradiated free in-situ, sterilely got shed of facebook fees lack fake sincerity for see you bullshit me your creepy I N C!