I pledge a mondegreen to Queen Frag, and Her mighty state of hysteria

31 Jan

A mondegreen is a mishearing or misinterpretation of a phrase that is worth repeating. If you think the above comic isn’t funny, click the ‘back’ button on your browser now, for the Pledge will be ‘mondegreened.’ Maybe even two other songs well known for inspiring Ameristan patriogizm–turn back now if you are easily offended. 


   I pledge allegiance to the good side, about 99% of america  and to the free public, no wicked plans, fun nation, universal, with medicare and no lies at all. 

   I pledge a grievance to the scam for untying the state of America, and to elite pundits, War-richistan, whore nation, inexcusable, with penalties and drug busts for all.

   I pledge adherence to the plan of the new-knighted snakes of scamerica and to the McGov, inc, more wicked plans, with levity and ‘trust us’ for all.

   I pledge resistance, ‘lectric gags! And to the delighted banks of Scamerica. and from the free public, lore which is banned, indefensible, with plutocracy and crushed lives for all.

   I treasure intents to defrag  ugly unified state of our media   and EULA the public, for widget  brands, play station, in the videos,  which sift for the gun lust, feral.

   I pledge discreet hints of the plan to you frightened jakes unaware of it   and the oily peak of it, more wicked plans, radiation, invisible, conspiracy and just this for all.  


The unselected, rejected, neglected, and disrespected, because you can do better: 

I grudge elite gents with their plans, ugly new lie to state of americonned,    of the new lie did traits of an erica,  of the new lighted cakes  of the few rights dead straight of a errorbar.     for the too bright did bake in a merica   ugly ghoul knight did gape at america   of the two mighty fakes of scamerica   for the few rights did break in america    of the skewed blighted fates of a bear licker,     of the benighted jakes of    off key two lighted skates unaware of ya.   off the too bright with snakes of the media.     of the derided tastes of america           of the unblighted traits of a miracle. of the two blighted fakes of aware ica      a rare hiccup,   a hairy cuss    a buried cah  a rare stickup   a caroler     a Kalidah   a character   of the few white bread jakes   radiation invisible


        I hedge a leet fence      I pledge my wee tents           i pledge my ‘leet mints      i pleasure the gents  to be dragged    and tho we reek of it    Unscrew the fee public   and to the bit bucket     and two or three dub steps    bores snitch as planned           wares glitch as planned         for itch our hands     or wishing glands       for bitchin’ bands    one station     sensation   conspiracy and  jealous furball.   

  Even if you can’t do better, and just ‘steal’ it from here, you can honestly say you stole it from no6ody. 

Other people’s Pledge mondegreens, credited where possible:

   I pleasure legions, to the flag of the ninety stays of America And to the public, for riches dance, one asian, under cod, with liver tea and just this for all.

   I pledge allegiance to Goldman Sachs, and to the conspiracy for which it stands, one racket under Paulson, Communist and indivisible, with eviction and poverty for all.

   I pledge allegiance, to Queen Fragg,And her mighty state of hysteria. And to the reporters, with delicious hams, One nation, under bob, indefensible, With quibbling and lettuce for all.

   I pledge a lesson to the frog of the United States of America, and to the wee puppet for witches hands. One Asian, in the vestibule, with little tea and just rice for all.

   I pledge impertinence to the flagwaving   of the unindicted co-conspirators of America  and to the Republicans for which I can’t stand  one abomination, underhanded fraud  indefensible with liberty and justice forget it.  Matt Groening

   I plead alignment to the flakes of the untitled snakes of a merry cow. And to the Republicans for which they scam, one nacho, underpants, with licorice and jugs of wine for owls.”   Matt Groening

   I pledge a grievance to the flag and the divided states of america, and to the republicans, whom i can’t stand, one nation, under dog, indespicable, with liberty for just us, not all.

   I pledge a legion to the frog of the delighted steaks of America, and to the public for Richard Stands, one naked individual, with liver tea and just kiss for all.

The original lyrics are no longer descriptive:  My country ’tis of thee, Sweet land of liberty, Of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died! Land of the Pilgrim’s pride! From every mountain side, Let freedom ring!        Mondegreen to the reds pew!

   My country tortures me; sweet lies of tyranny, ugly thy sting. Land where my freedoms died; plans where the TV lied; force deadly oft applied; undeserving.

   My eyes distinctly see   secret theology;  of 3 I sing.  Land where my money dies;   land of the pills and lies;   for every one short supplies;   stop listening.

   Wiiidescreen in front of me;   frontal lobotomy;   slowly moving.   Land where free thought has died;   Land of the fat behind;   to neverending stimuli;   let’s eat some thing.

   My conscience thinks I see   sheer lack of dignity.   Of pee I sing.   Pee where the others died;   pee on their punctured hides;  film it for the folks state-side;   weeniewagging. 

the cutting room floor:

My country’s 5H175 on me; just wanted to be free; smoke me something. Land where I bought supplies, stand up for truth, not lies, for dignity not denied, 

my country, tears for thee  my gun says misery  my country pissed on thee    my bumpy front of me    sweet lass of Mystery   sweets laid in front of thee   undies i fling   undesiring    get me more bling  ugly icing   all this guy thing       not bothering    measurably well supplied

  The original (if outdated) lyrics:   O beautiful, for spacious skies,  For amber waves of grain,  For purple mountain majesties   Above the fruited plain!  America! America!   God shed his grace on thee  And crown thy good with brotherhood   From sea to shining sea!                                                                                                          

   O tv spew, your specious lies,   you’re adding waves of pain;   your pervert wartime fantasies;   and drugs and schools insane!  America i’m scared a ya,   mob led, disgraced, nasty,   endowed thy hoods with others’ goods   from seizures over seas.

   As you do spew rapacious lies   of addled ways to gain   your politician travesties   all have the foolish brain!   Oh where is a America   not sedated mentally?  Your ‘crowd thy hoods with shoddy goods’    whores weep and whine and wheeze. 

   O looted tool, poor class despised,    your apps all save your name;    your people, mental tragedies,    corruptly fooled again!   O media, deceiving ya,   bad hagiographies   they sound no good because they should    fit to reality!

pits and beaches: 

 of stupid rules, for baseless lies   o stoopid fool, for facist lies   for faceless guys tasteless pies    your awful ways remain    aware is a america   You shaped this place nasty   got pled his case for free    got radiated tea   irradiated free    in-situ, sterilely   got shed of facebook fees    lack fake sincerity    for see you bullshit me     your creepy I N C! 

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